My Warrior
by Nerwen Aldarion
Summary: Charin tells Teyla a story from her past about a long lost love, the story leads Teyla to a decision concerning Ronon. TeylaRonon


Disclaimer: I don't own SGA but Koron is my own creation.

A/N: I really like the last story featuring Charin that I wrote called Charin's Blessing and I really loved the character Charin in the show and was a little sad when she died. I decided to explore her character a bit more and since I'm and avid Spanky fan, throw in some TeylaRonon as well. I hope you lik it.

* * *

My Warrior

After the incident on Belkan, Teyla had decided that she needed to leave Atlantis for a chance to cool some of her anger directed towards Ronon. She felt that a trip to the mainland was in order and a long talk with Charin over some stout tea.

When Teyla entered Charin's tent, Charin could see the warning signs and quickly prepared the makings of the tea and pulled up a comfortable chair. "Tell what is wrong my dear," Charin asked after sitting across from her.

"Nothing," Teyla told her and gave frustrated sigh.

"Yes I can see that," Charin said sarcastically, "Now tell me what's happened."

Teyla knew she had promised to never speak about what happened between her and Ronon on Belkan, but she needed to vent out her aggravation and she knew that the news would never go pass Charin. So with a heavy sigh she told Charin everything about Ronon and Kel and the problems on Belkan. Charin listened intently never saying anything until Teyla was finished.

"And you're angry that he took revenge?" Charin asked.

"No, I understand why he did it and I even told him I might have done the same thing," Teyla explained, "I'm angry that he thinks so little of me to use my friendship to enact vengeance."

Charin nodded, "Now I see,"

"See what?" Teyla asked.

"It's not his act of revenge that makes you angry," Charin told her, "Nor is it the fact that he used you to do it, you are angry because you believe that he you don't mean anything to him when he means so much to you."

Teyla just sat there in stunned silence, a warm cup of tea resting in her hands, "You're wrong," She finally said.

Charin smiled, "When have I ever been wrong?"

"Charin I hardly know the man, he doesn't speak to anyone about his past, he doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, he…he," Teyla faltered trying to find another reason.

Charin's smile didn't waver, "Do you find him attractive?"

Teyla's eyes widened, "Wh…what does that have to do with anything?"

"You do don't you?" Charin asked.

Teyla sighed, "Alright I'll admit that he is pleasing to the eye…in a strong, masculine…, sensual sort of way but that doesn't mean…" Teyla was interrupted by Charin's laughter.

"I'm sorry," Charin said after she had finished laughing, "It's just that you have always reminded me so much of myself when I was younger and this only proves it."

"What do you mean," Teyla asked.

"I was like you when I was seventeen, always looking to the sky and dreaming of adventures," Charin smiled sadly, "I suppose it's time I told you about…my warrior."Teyla didn't know how to react, it was the way Charin said the word 'my' that Teyla knew that whoever this warrior was meant a lot to Charin.

"I don't understand Charin," Teyla began, "you never married how could you have…a warrior."

Charin smiled, "You don't have to be married to be in love, listen to what I have to say and maybe then you'll understand."

* * *

"As I said I was seventeen and wild, I wanted to go to different places and see other things than Athos, but my father, well he thought I should just stay in our tent and do womanly tasks. I had other ideas, I decided to leave and I did, I went to different worlds and eventually settled on one called Desheeda. Desheeda was on the brink of a civil war between the two sides called the Laytens and the Nodarins. I got a job with the Laytens that lived on the northern side of Desheeda; I served meals to the military that were in the camps waiting for the fighting to start."

"I noticed one of the warriors that was always on his own, his name was Koron and he never spoke to anyone, was rather curt to people, and he was also the best warrior there. He also happened to be the most attractive and as a young girl I found myself smitten, though I kept reminding myself how rude and quite unsuitable he was for me."

Teyla saw the point Charin was making, she had said almost the same things about Ronon trying to deny the attraction she felt, "So what did you do?" She asked.

Charin laughed softly, "One day he asked me for extra rations and I told him no, not until he said please. He was more than a little surprised by that, and he got a little angry. You see I was making him look inferior to the other soldiers there since a woman was standing up to him. After several harsh words I got the please I was looking for."

"Of course he couldn't leave it at that, I had made him look like a fool and as a matter of pride he needed to speak or rather yell at me. I think he was hoping to scare me into submission and you should have seen the look on his face when instead I challenged him."

Teyla's eyes widened, "You what!"

"I challenged him, of course I had no idea how to fight and I told him as much, I said that in order to make it a fair fight he would have to teach me. He scoffed at it but then I pointed out that if he didn't accept my offer it would appear he was too afraid to fight a girl, and if he did accept but didn't teach me what to do he would appear a menace who couldn't win fairly. He knew I had him and he was spitting mad too but he agreed to the lessons."

"Koron was a good warrior and that became apparent when he started teaching me how to fight, at first it was obvious he was still very angry with me but eventually that anger gave way and I believe he began to like me a little or at the very least hate me less. I was a bit blunter than anyone that he ever met and I wouldn't let him get away with things like others would just because he was big and a good fighter, but most of all I wasn't afraid of him and in fact challenged him at every turn. But it still bothered me that he wouldn't speak about his past so finally I asked him out right, he got very angry, in face he stormed away but when the next meal came around I still wouldn't relent. That was our biggest argument there in the dining hall when I refused to back down until he told me about himself, I told him that I knew something had made him into the battered soul that he was and I couldn't help him if he didn't tell me. He was surprised by that but I didn't notice, I was walking away to finish my duties."

"It wasn't until the next day that I learned how I'd gotten through to him, instead of lessons on the arts of war he told me about himself. His mother had died a long time ago and his father, well his father had never forgiven him for agreeing to the Layten's side, it had caused a rift between them that had never been repaired. You see his father worked for the military for Desheeda and he was loyal to Desheeda alone and not to any side, he wanted Koron to agree with him. When the fighting began Koron said he was going to join the military on the Layten's side, his father became extremely angry and a fight ensued, Koron nearly died. After he was disowned by his father he joined the military like he said he would."

"When he told me of this story I finally understood why he was always so angry and why he let hatred consume him so, I told him he would never be happy until he spoke to his father again. He didn't even have to repair the damage between them, he just needed to see his father's side and show him that he was fighting for something he believed in. He said that his father would kill him if he saw him again, and I asked him if he truly believed that. I explained that he wasn't angry with his father but with himself for not being brave enough to see if his father truly had stopped loving him, and it was that fear that was eating away at his soul."

"He was very quiet after that and I didn't see him again for a few days, I was afraid that maybe I had lost him for good, until he came to my room that the compound had given me. He was smiling which was surprising in itself but he told me I had been right about him, the reason he had been gone was because he had left to see his father and to try to make amends. His father had regretted his decision in disowning Koron and had been trying to find him to tell him as much. It was amazing to see the difference in Koron, he didn't have a weight on his shoulders anymore and he seemed a lot more at peace. But nothing surprised me more when he hugged me."

A new expression came over Charin when she spoke of that moment, she seemed to be in a dream, her mind millions of miles away, "I think he was just trying to show his appreciation to me, he never had before, but something happened when he held me in his arms. It was a spark that suddenly burned between us and I became aware of everything concerning him, my skin burned where he touched me and I…I felt…I felt complete. I was so afraid when he looked into my eyes, I was afraid he would see how I felt for him, the attraction, the way I yearned to help, even my fantasies of him holding me like he was then. But when I looked into his eyes I suddenly realized that all of the turmoil I was going through, my not knowing how he felt for me, he had been going through the same thing. And when we kissed, I can't explain it any more than magical."

"What happened next?" Teyla asked.

Charin looked sheepish, "Well…we…"

Teyla's eyes widened, "You mean that you and Koron…but you weren't married!"

"I'm not ashamed of it," Charin told her, "I just don't want you to believe that it's alright, I would have preferred to have waited until marriage but I was swept away by the moment and with all that happened later I'm glad that we went as far as we did."

"But don't think I didn't regret making love to him later, I was thoroughly ashamed of myself. In fact I tried to avoid him for a while but he cornered me and outright asked me what was wrong. When I explained everything that I had been raised to believe in he told me not to punish myself for what happened. I guess I realized I wasn't at home anymore and I decided to let myself give in to my passions, and I am glad I did."

"Why?" Teyla asked and then blushed ashamed at her blunt question.

Charin just smiled, "Besides the fact that being his lover was entirely satisfying and delightful, something terrible happened," Charin's voice became very sad and she blinked away tears, "Something very awful indeed."

"We were lovers for several months when the fighting between the Laytens and the Nodarins began; he was one of the many who were sent in to the fight. We exchanged a tearful good-bye and he told me that when he came back that he was going to marry me. I didn't see him for months…until…," Charin faltered, "…until the wounded came in."

"I had heard whispers all day and I finally learned that Koron had been gravely wounded while fighting many Nodarins alone. I rushed to the place where the wounded were and I found him being worked on by the doctors, he was barely alive. He was able to work up enough strength to say one last thing…he said that he loved me. Then he closed his eyes and breathed no more, I thank the Ancestors every day that I was there holding his hand before he died, and was able to tell him I loved him one last time."

Charin was crying now and Teyla could tell the pain is still caused her, she placed a hand on her shoulder but Charin shook her head, "I have to finish this," She explained.

"After he died a part of me died too, I left a few days after he was buried and went home to Athos, I was nineteen now but felt decades older. My father was very angry with me for running off but I had gained strength in my travels and declared to him that I had no intention I being the perfect wife to any man and in fact I didn't want to marry ever. We never talked much after that and he died soon after, but I was numb from Koron's death and I never really felt the pain of my father's."

"Now everyone on Athos felt I was foolish for running off like that just to appease my sense of adventure, everyone except your father. Tughan was always looking to the sky like me, he wanted to hear everything about my travels and I told him much, though I left out the part about Koron, I taught him how to fight just like Koron taught me, one day Tughan finally confronted me, he knew I wasn't telling him everything that had taken place when I left Athos. He was the only one that I told about Koron and he never told anyone else. Your father helped me overcome my grief and I loved him like a brother, he always cared about me and I was never happier when he taught you to fight as well."

"I live with Koron's memory everyday, and I never married again because I knew I could never love someone like I love Koron. I'm old now and my life has been so long, I am tired of living my life without him and when my time comes, I don't want your sadness for the loss of my life, I want your joy because I will finally be in the arms of my warrior again."

Charin looked at Teyla now, "I want this to help you understand, you needn't be ashamed of your feelings for Ronon. Rather embrace them as an opportunity to help him, and don't be afraid to what they might lead to. My time with Koron was short but I have never regretted knowing him and my wish to you is for you to have the same love I have for him with someone else."

Teyla and Charin were silent for a long time afterwards, Teyla tried her best to comfort Charin who had to relive her grief, but her mind was on other matters. She knew Charinright and listening to Charin tell her story, many points of which had mirrored her own problems with Ronon. She was no longer angry with him she realized; in fact she was seeing him in a new light. She wanted to help him now and she wondered if her story would be like Charin's. She was afraid that it would be that she could end up falling for the Satedan warrior which could be a terrible thing, if he didn't feel the same way.

* * *

_Months later_

Teyla sat down at the pier looking at the stars, the dress she was wearing was hardly suitable for what she was doing but she didn't care. Only hours before Charin had died and the ring ceremony had taken place.

Never again would she be able to speak her troubles to Charin, she would never be able to share a bowl of tuddle root soup and laugh over stories from childhood.

Teyla felt guilt over trying to keep Charin with her longer, she knew that Charin was tired of living and had welcomed death in order to be with Koron, but Teyla hadn't been ready, there had been so many things she had wanted to say.

Ever since the talk that they had held and Charin's confession over Koron, Teyla had been battling with her emotions over what to do with Ronon. Charin had been adamant about telling him or at the very least pushing him into telling her about himself, but Teyla had been afraid about laying her heart into someone else's hands.

And now Charin was gone and she was alone and still undecided about what to do.

Teyla heard the door open behind her and she turned her head and saw Ronon standing there watching her.

"I heard about what happened," He told her, "I'm sorry." He walked over and sat down next to her, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," She told him even as she wiped away tears, "I should have been the one to ask you that, Dr. Weir told me about the incident with Colonel Caldwell and the ZPM."

He smiled slightly, "Danger is nothing new with what we are doing, but a person close to you dying is something else." He sobered, "It's alright to be sad."

"I know," She said, "And I am but I shouldn't be."

"Because of the team?" He asked.

"No, because it's what she wanted."

Ronon looked surprised, "She wanted to die?"

"Yes," Teyla explained, "She loved someone a long time ago and now that she is gone she is finally in the arms of her warrior again. It's what she wanted and in my heart I know she is where she should be. I just feel so alone now."

"You're not alone," He told her, "I'm here." She looked up surprised about what he had said, he quickly clarified, "I mean Sheppard and Mckay, all of us are here for you, not just me."

Even though he tried to cover if up she knew what he had meant and it startled her back into reality. Had he really said he was there for her and what did it mean?

"I just wanted to see if you were okay," He said before standing up and walking away.

"Ronon," She called after him and he stopped. She smiled, "Thank you…for caring."

He smiled at her before leaving. Teyla looked up to the stars again with a new feeling of contentment, his one slip of the tongue had her thinking about what Charin had told her and an idea formed in her mind.

Ronon must care for her, enough to worry, perhaps the Wraith had not destroyed all of his emotions and maybe just maybe she could help him. She told herself that this wasn't for her own gain, just by healing his wounded spirit wasn't going to make him love her, but she knew her heart wasn't going to listen.

It didn't matter anymore; she was going to try if not for her sake or Ronon's than for Charin and her memory, to fulfill one last wish of hers. Instead of fear her spirit was filled with anticipation and glee, this was going to work she just knew it.

Teyla left the pier quickly ideas swimming in her head as she planned on what to do in order to get Ronon to talk to her, maybe taking a page out of Charin's book wasn't such a bad idea. Teyla was up all night thinking about what to do.

Far above in life after death a young woman rested in the arms of a young strong man finally in the place she always wanted to be. She turned her head to smile at Koron, "It won't be long my love," She told him, "It won't be long until she's finally with him, until she's finally in the arms of her warrior."

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End file.
